"I don't buy it! You're a lying sack of crap, elf! And just for that you are being taken off "Stretch Armstrong" production and put on "Paddle with Ball and Rubber Band" production!" he shouts at you.

"That's not fair! That's the worst toy ever!" you complain back at him.

"You should have thought of that before trying to dupe Santa! Now get back to work! Those rubber bands aren't going to staple themselves to those paddles...Muwahahaha! I am Santa Clause, the most powerful make-believe figure in the world!...Next to God!" he manically laughs as ten sharp ridged metal claws extend from the tips of his fingers. "Faster faster!"

You go back to your torturous elf life and ponder suicide a few times...but it's hopeless because Santa Clause will haunt you even when you're dead...he's just that cool/creepy/make-believable.

THE END

- Stretch Armstrong is so much cooler than Paddle with Ball and Rubber band. Take me to the start of this story!